Let me tell you what it means to be Asexual.
The definition states:
Noun
1. a person who has no sexual feelings or desires.
Now, in a country and culture that the United States has, this is impossible. How can anyone not want sex!?
Well I'll tell you, and it's pretty simple.
You see that ad of a sexy model on an American car?
Now imagine having no urge to have sex with said model. Can't? maybe skinny blondes aren't your type? Try to Imagine any type trying to seduce you and the feelings just aren't mutual.
Someone explained it pretty accurately once.
It's like walking into the kitchen, and the fridge and cupboards are full of all the foods that many people would love to eat and snack on, but you just aren't hungry for anything that is in that kitchen. Bam! Asexuality. That kitchen can have all the foods in the world, and you just aren't hungry for it.
For me, this is the case. I don't look at people the same way as my sisters do. I sometimes trick myself into thinking the same way they do, but to be completely honest, I only want friends. People to talk to, connect with.
Every time I think about the idea of having sex, it sounds awkward, painful and wasted energy.
Don't get me wrong, my body still acts like everyone else. Like hunger pains, but again, that's my body doing what it was built to do.
I identify as Asexual and hetero-romantic. <--- is this a thing? Yes!
Within the LGBT community, Asexuals get zero acknowledgment or respect because how can anyone who does have urges be asexual? It just doesn't make sense. Yeah, well thanks for reminding me that I've spent 24 years thinking I was broken.
There is a reason why I have never been in a relationship. Every single time someone shows interest in me, the feelings just aren't mutual. I have no interest, plus it takes me forever to realize that someone was actually flirting with me, and trying to ask me out. I simply was not hungry.
I'll try to explain this as simple as possible, but I fear I may lose you, so please try to stay.
You don't need sex to survive. You don't need to be in a romantic relationship to survive. I'm proof that you can just live life.
Instead of trying to please others, I please myself. I dream up funny stories, adventures of traveling, and ideas of what it is like to live in a small village in the Baltic's.
I know, not exactly exciting, but you know what, that's fine. I also do other things.
I play video games, read books, watch movies, eat real food(not metaphorically).
I read articles about social injustices, learn what I can do to help. Reach out to others that may need help. You know, be a human being.
Romance is nice, and something I do want. I want a partner in crime, someone who will put up with my bullshit from time to time. Endure the moments that I just want to pack up and travel. Have coffee dates with, even if it means sitting on the floor in our PJ's drinking instant coffee.
Asexuals are rare, and if you identify as one then you are the rarest of rare. Embrace that, and people will laugh and just say, "You haven't been in a relationship yet, so how do you know?"
Well, after living 24, going on 25 years, you eventually come to a conclusion. It's not written in stone by the way. I can easily find the partner I'm looking for and finally come to my end conclusion, but until then, I say that I am asexual.
Again, it's not something I am allowed to say often, but after some more time reflecting and trying to find more about myself, I still come to this conclusion. I don't want to have sex. It is what it is.
All my life I've only asked for friends. Obviously when I was in middle school I wanted a boyfriend, but no boy wanted to go out with me. Or none that I knew of.
I seriously was pushed to a wall. I have no desire to have sex with women, trust me. I pushed that idea on myself many times, and each time I walked away with a solid answer. No.
I like having friends. Friends I feel are just better. Plus I need my personal time, something I know I wouldn't get if I was in a romantic relationship. Though, I will never know, now will I?
Don't dismiss asexuals, and don't ignore that there are people who really do identify as "Ace". It's not funny, and it's not weird. It's a real thing. Rare, I'll admit, but real.
Society pushes sex down our throats the same way McD's pushes the quarter pounder down your throats. Not very hard, because you guys eat it like crazy. People are so sex crazed they can't possibly think that someone who doesn't want to have sex is not real.
I've been faced with laughter, stunned faces, raised eyebrows and shrugs.
"You haven't had sex yet. You still don't know. So don't quickly label yourself."
By the way, I didn't. I waited 23 years, and another 2 years to see if I am still anything other than asexual. Do you want me to wait until I'm 30 to come to my conclusion?
Most members of society don't get treated like this. Why?
Homosexuals don't have to have sex to know they want sex from the same sex. They just do, and that's it. They simply just know and no one pushes it any further, but if you say I don't want it, it's like you're not human.
As an Asexual, Ace for short, I say that I'm fine with not having sex. I live and survive. I know other ways to distract myself, and entertain myself. I read, write, draw and sometimes hangout.
I Netflix without the "Chill", and that means I know what's going on in most of the recent TV shows, as well as TV shows that no one watches. I enjoy living life as fully as I can. Allows me to see the world and enrich my personal view point.
I'm happy being this way. If you aren't, well lucky you, you don't have to live my life.
-Nihongochick2
