Being Asexual

Let me tell you what it means to be Asexual.

The definition states:
Noun
1. a person who has no sexual feelings or desires.

Now, in a country and culture that the United States has, this is impossible. How can anyone not want sex!? 

Well I'll tell you, and it's pretty simple. 

You see that ad of a sexy model on an American car? 
Now imagine having no urge to have sex with said model. Can't? maybe skinny blondes aren't your type? Try to Imagine any type trying to seduce you and the feelings just aren't mutual. 

Someone explained it pretty accurately once. 
It's like walking into the kitchen, and the fridge and cupboards are full of all the foods that many people would love to eat and snack on, but you just aren't hungry for anything that is in that kitchen. Bam! Asexuality. That kitchen can have all the foods in the world, and you just aren't hungry for it. 
For me, this is the case. I don't look at people the same way as my sisters do. I sometimes trick myself into thinking the same way they do, but to be completely honest, I only want friends. People to talk to, connect with. 

Every time I think about the idea of having sex, it sounds awkward, painful and wasted energy. 
Don't get me wrong, my body still acts like everyone else. Like hunger pains, but again, that's my body doing what it was built to do. 

I identify as Asexual and hetero-romantic. <--- is this a thing? Yes! 

Within the LGBT community, Asexuals get zero acknowledgment or respect because how can anyone who does have urges be asexual? It just doesn't make sense. Yeah, well thanks for reminding me that I've spent 24 years thinking I was broken. 

There is a reason why I have never been in a relationship. Every single time someone shows interest in me, the feelings just aren't mutual. I have no interest, plus it takes me forever to realize that someone was actually flirting with me, and trying to ask me out. I simply was not hungry. 

I'll try to explain this as simple as possible, but I fear I may lose you, so please try to stay. 
You don't need sex to survive. You don't need to be in a romantic relationship to survive. I'm proof that you can just live life. 

Instead of trying to please others, I please myself. I dream up funny stories, adventures of traveling, and ideas of what it is like to live in a small village in the Baltic's. 
I know, not exactly exciting, but you know what, that's fine. I also do other things. 
I play video games, read books, watch movies, eat real food(not metaphorically). 
I read articles about social injustices, learn what I can do to help. Reach out to others that may need help. You know, be a human being. 

Romance is nice, and something I do want. I want a partner in crime, someone who will put up with my bullshit from time to time. Endure the moments that I just want to pack up and travel. Have coffee dates with, even if it means sitting on the floor in our PJ's drinking instant coffee. 
Asexuals are rare, and if you identify as one then you are the rarest of rare. Embrace that, and people will laugh and just say, "You haven't been in a relationship yet, so how do you know?" 
Well, after living 24, going on 25 years, you eventually come to a conclusion. It's not written in stone by the way. I can easily find the partner I'm looking for and finally come to my end conclusion, but until then, I say that I am asexual. 

Again, it's not something I am allowed to say often, but after some more time reflecting and trying to find more about myself, I still come to this conclusion. I don't want to have sex. It is what it is. 
All my life I've only asked for friends. Obviously when I was in middle school I wanted a boyfriend, but no boy wanted to go out with me. Or none that I knew of. 
I seriously was pushed to a wall. I have no desire to have sex with women, trust me. I pushed that idea on myself many times, and each time I walked away with a solid answer. No. 

I like having friends. Friends I feel are just better. Plus I need my personal time, something I know I wouldn't get if I was in a romantic relationship. Though, I will never know, now will I? 

Don't dismiss asexuals, and don't ignore that there are people who really do identify as "Ace". It's not funny, and it's not weird. It's a real thing. Rare, I'll admit, but real. 

Society pushes sex down our throats the same way McD's pushes the quarter pounder down your throats. Not very hard, because you guys eat it like crazy. People are so sex crazed they can't possibly think that someone who doesn't want to have sex is not real. 
I've been faced with laughter, stunned faces, raised eyebrows and shrugs. 
"You haven't had sex yet. You still don't know. So don't quickly label yourself."
By the way, I didn't. I waited 23 years, and another 2 years to see if I am still anything other than asexual. Do you want me to wait until I'm 30 to come to my conclusion?
Most members of society don't get treated like this. Why?

Homosexuals don't have to have sex to know they want sex from the same sex. They just do, and that's it. They simply just know and no one pushes it any further, but if you say I don't want it, it's like you're not human.

As an Asexual, Ace for short, I say that I'm fine with not having sex. I live and survive. I know other ways to distract myself, and entertain myself. I read, write, draw and sometimes hangout.
I Netflix without the "Chill", and that means I know what's going on in most of the recent TV shows, as well as TV shows that no one watches.  I enjoy living life as fully as I can. Allows me to see the world and enrich my personal view point.
I'm happy being this way. If you aren't, well lucky you, you don't have to live my life.

-Nihongochick2

Love is Love is Love!

 Written by Alyssa Showalter

      It is from the tragedy in Orlando that I wish to speak up as a supporter of the LGBT community. I have many friends who are a part of that community, and I must say they are my family in many ways. When I see people attack them, I feel them attacking me, and as a fiery redhead, I will not sit by and watch. From personal experience dealing with hatred and bullying, my heart goes out to victims of senseless hatred.

     When I was alone, had no friends, and people teased me for my looks and attitude. It was a classmate, who identified as homosexual, that sat next to talk me to me. Didn’t know my past, didn’t care that I lost my temper, and loved my red hair. They made me feel like I was not an ugly freak. In a world that wants right and wrong, good and evil, they forget that there is no such thing. That people are abstract and deserve to be perfectly imperfect.

     It’s not wrong to stand up for what you believe in, and it’s not right to feel hatred to the ones who cause pain to the innocent. We are all human, and we all feel emotions. I understand this, and I believe we all understand this, but it is important to show love and support to those who get knocked down. Us Redheads know this very well, and understand that it’s important to remind others that it is okay to be who you are. To shine like the bright stars that we are, and never back down or get back in line. To strut our stuff with no regrets or apologies and loving every one of our freckles.

     Every one deserves to love them selves and celebrate it. For me, it’s my red hair, as for others it’s their sexual orientation. The LGBT community has never hurt anyone, and never intends to force their life-style onto others. Like many of us, they want to live their lives peacefully by being themselves. I know that feeling and burning desire. I show my support by loving my friends and family that are a part of the LGBT community by spreading love.

Rock it like a Redhead, and spread the love and support that people need in their lives. You don’t have to understand, or agree, in what they do, but just show them it’s okay. They need that as much as we need it. It’s okay to be redheaded in a blonde and brunette world, and it’s okay to be homosexual, bi-sexual, transgender in a heterosexual world.

Also published on the website: How to be a Redhead.com

Good bye 2015 and Hello 2016

     So, we all have that feeling. It's the feeling that you get when you survived that crazy rollercoaster ride, or able to endure the terror of a scary slasher movie. 2015 was a year that has left more than enough people feeling that they really should kiss the ground. Pray to whatever God that you believe in, and just thank them that you are alive.

It was a crazy year for me, but it was truly even crazier for America and Europe.
It started off nice enough, but as soon as summer hit, it was the moment that shit really hit the fan and all hell broke loose. Such as; we all went, "What the hell?" as our mouths hung open and eyes grew wide. Then, when it turned into October and November our wide eyed expression went into shaking heads and pinching the bridge of our nose.
The Republican debates...the endless debates...the many endless debates ....UGH!
The freak out over the Refugee migration in Europe
The freak out over terrorist in America
The increase in gun sales in America, when we should be reaching for the bullet proof vests.
The outrageous idea of banning muslims from entering America? Seriously? That will never be an option, so get over it!

My question is, "What the hell 2015?"
What happened? There was a lot of positives but so much happened that you can't decide to laugh or cry.

My biggest frustration was the Trump running for president. (Btw, no I won't be voting for him)
The man can't be a leader. Especially since he acts like such a big rich bully to the country he says he wants to run. Guys like him should not be taken seriously, and should be ignored. (Probably sent to talk to a therapist)

There was also the mass shootings that happened every single day.
I won't say how I feel about guns, since it's unconstitutional, but yes. Shootings. America needs Jesus...wherever he is.

I am going to just count my blessings.
I graduated University with a BA in Asian Studies.
I moved back from Tokyo to California to be with my family. (This is a 50/50)
I earned a freelance job for a great website --> http://howtobearedhead.com/
I am starting to get my creative juices flowing again. Working on novel ideas.

I am happy to say some good things did happen, but you shouldn't ignore that this country is broken and needs help. I felt this unbelievable pressure that I needed to fix it all by myself. That isn't NOT the case and in fact, we need to work together and make our home livable again.
America is such a great country, and I refuse to believe that we are going to let a bully take over.
(P.S. Trump needs to just shove off.)

Seriously, we really need to look for the light in the dark clouds of confusion. This world is a great place, and we are capable to work together and make things happen. You prove this by showing love, compassion, and grace. I am not hear to preach, but I have some hope that we can make things happen and make.

Look at Japan and Korea! They have finally come to terms about the comfort women issue. It's like the gods are smiling upon us, that two nations that have constantly at each others throats are finally coming to an agreement. HEY! Baby steps, my friends.

2015 was the crazy part that you didn't plan on going to, and things happened. Police got involved. People ran around screaming, windows got smashed, and know one knows who the kid, that is wearing a lamp shade on his head, and in nothing but his underwear is. We can only stand speechless watching people run around and scream and...you know what there is a perfect gif for this.

The Beginning of 2015

then we were like...

from this....

to this...


constantly looking like this


to this... 

then we were like this...


Point is, 2016, don't disappoint us. We are really counting on you to be the ferris wheel or merry-go-round ride of emotions.
Personally for me, I have been stuck on a roller coaster ride that refuses to let me get off each time it finally stops, for 3 years.




Well, here's to 2016!

Soulless, but not Heartless!

     By Alyssa Showalter

     The legend tells us, that all “Ginger” people have no soul, and will steal yours if you make eye contact with one long enough. Being a redhead myself, I would like to confirm this is true, and if you believe me, than you know that gullible is also in the dictionary. If you are redheaded, you know this isn’t true, and in fact, would like to deny that you have stolen anyone’s soul. Let us ask, when and where did this all start? Is it really possible to steal a soul? Sally sells souls on the seashore, because she known seashells are worthless. Diamonds might be forever, but souls have an expiration date of eternity.

     Personally, I have never found the “soulless” jokes to be funny. I don’t bring it up at parties with new people. I like to make the best impression possible. However, if someone does bring it up, I only laugh with them. All while I make eye contact with them, making them feel as uncomfortable as they have made me.

     It is not easy being redheaded. The very fact that we get sunburned in the shade should be a sign that we are not a very tough enemy. The people of Britain believe the South Park episode and fear of being bitten by one of us. Redheaded women get sexual harassed, and the men are treated with very little respect. People with Ginger-phobia, are not really worth dealing with. I mean, considering they most likely carry the MC1R gene and karma will deal with them.

     It was back during the Roman Empire that this prejudice against redheads came from. It was the men and women that reflected pale skin and flaming red hair, which is almost a similar description for “The Devil”. Later on, the rumor and idea that redheads sold their souls to the devil, so to serve him and spread sin. Yes, because the last sin I committed was with a jar of Nutella and Oreos.

Oh, no. They are catching onto the Devil’s plan, to spread diabetes to everyone on Earth. Whatever shall we do?

     The Greeks believed that we would turn into Vampires after we died. There is so much fail in that sentence that I cannot help but laugh. I do need to admit, we are much closer to the vampire race than Edward Cullen was. Not to mention, people are more scared of me than his glittery pasty ass. So, perhaps the Greeks did have a point.

     Do we have souls? That is up for a pointless debate that I will not take part in. What no one points out is that we have heart. Yes, we are fiery and passionate, all the better to fight for our loved ones with. We love with as much as the rest of the world, if not more. We know what it feels to be mistreated and discriminated against.

Red is the new Black

     Fashion and accessories are a form of expression, the same way we draw pictures or write music. Clothes make the person as much as their body language, their choice of words, as well as their actions. What you wear tells people who you are. 

     I have never been very good at dressing myself, but my blonde older sister has always asked for my opinion on most of her outfits through out high school and college. I never thought I had good taste in clothes or what works with what, until someone told me that my sister always looked the best at parties. Then they found out it was me who helped her, which got everyone's attention. After my sister's friend became our roommate, she started asking me too. I was the closest fashion "expert" that they knew, and they trusted my very blunt and honest opinion. So, I thought I only knew how to dress blondes and brunettes, until I realized, redheads are the ones that can wear a potato sack and make it look good.  For years I thought redheads were the hardest people to dress, to only learn that is a myth. In fact, we are the easiest to dress up and can get away with wearing anything. 

     We are truly blessed, because we are the ones that make the dress. If a dress doesn't look good on us, then sorry, that dress is ugly, and shouldn't be worn by anyone. So my fashion tip for all red heads is, wear whatever your heart desires. Clothes are simply cloth sewn together, but redheads make them fashionable.

I usually keep away from animal print, because to me it screams tacky. Not to mention it really clashes with our brilliant red hair. I also stay away from silver and gold, because our pale skin and freckles just get whitened out, and gold looks cheap. My opinion is not meant for every one, and my taste in clothes should be questioned. However, I am simply being honest. 

 

    Myth: Redheads can't wear color. 

    Truth: Oh yes they can! 

    Jessica Rabbit is the sexiest 2-D character we all know, and she was able to pull off a Red dress with purple gloves and purple eye shadow. Imagine a blonde or brunette trying to do that. Yup, redheads can wear any color and any shade of that color because it enhances their hair and skin. To look like goddesses and out of this world, leaving many to turn their head. Trust me, redheads can wear color. Now, there are some colors that complement well with red hair, such as; green, red, and believe it, yellow. 

      One day, a couple of years ago, I decided to be bold and wear a yellow dress. I've never got so many complements before. So many people told me how pretty I looked. You have a yellow dress that you like? Go ahead, make people's heads spin! 

Anyone can wear black, and possibly the safest shade of the light spectrum. What many probably get scared of is the light. Give in to the good side, and wear that white pull over. Wearing white actually makes you look radiant and healthy. All because we are pale naturally, wearing white will make you look like you got some sun. Not to mention, your red hair will look amazing. 

     When I say, wear whatever you want, I mean it. You see that cute purple top, go ahead. And trust me, it will look amazing on you. Enjoy that little black dress, and splash around in pastels. One thing I will tell you is that red heads are trend setters. What we wear is going to make people fall in love with it, and want to wear the same thing. This can also be said for red headed men, as well. I don't have experience with dressing redheaded men, because all the boys in my family have brown hair. However, redheaded men can wear about anything, and dare I contradict myself to say, even silver. 

So, if you have holiday parties to go to, and you want to express yourself and be bold. Go for it! I mean it, wear what you will like, because people will talk and tell you that it's not fair that you can make any color work for you, but not them. You can thank your red hair, pale skin, and amazing taste in fashion for that. 

10 Signs of Growing up Ginger

Being redheaded, "Ginger" or even "Pumpkin Spiced" is the trend among young adults and adults of the ages. (No offense) But we natural "Carrot Tops" have something that people can't get out of a bottle or from the hair salon. 

1.     Mixed reactions. Some people loved, and still love, your hair, and others did not. We got used to it. 

2.     Your head was not safe from strangers’ grabby hands no matter what the situation.

3.     As a 90’s kid, you were always “Ginger Spice”. You may have liked Posh or Sporty Spice more, but if you had red hair, you were always Ginger Spice.  

4.     Nicknames that are related to your hair will always be apart of your life. Fireball, Ginger, Carrot Top, Ariel, Firecracker, Strawberry short cake, the list goes on.

5.     Growing up loving Lindsay Lohan, and than after 2005, we ran into our rooms ashamed and heartbroken.  Yes, the moment I heard Paris fucking Hilton call her a "Fire Crotch", I instantly dreaded going to school the next day. 

6.     Having mixed feelings for that  South Park Episode.

7.     Getting sun burned… in the shade.

8.     We grew up to develop a unique sense of humor. We know how to laugh, and it is a very magical moment when we do. That’s how awesome we are.

9. People will always blame our hair for our fiery tempers.  

Last but not least!

10.  We learned very quickly the value of humility and acceptance. We know what it feels like to be picked on because of our appearance. To be discriminated against and bullied for being different. Natural red heads know what it means to want equality and to fight for social justice. We have over thousands of years of being hunted, enslaved and killed, all because of our hair and skin. To be picked on and stereotyped by everyone. Natural redheads are the kindest, most understanding, and accepting people you will have the honor of meeting and befriending. Being a redhead is an honor because we are the ones that grew up stronger and able to handle the social pressures from every single person. Growing up with natural red hair means that you are truly special, inside and out, and no one will ever be able to attain that from a bottle of red hair dye.